Why I wasted all this time working on this huge movie project that I would ultimately discard is beyond me. I still have no idea. But the one regret I have is spending all those years constructing beautiful images with special effects containing sex only to end up cutting it. I understood very well that I was trying to release a porn movie, a regular movie and an album all at the same time. And you just can't do that, put so many different images of you all at once. Something had to give and the choice wasn't difficult.

I needed to pick one precise entity. When viewed from the standpoint of the public, was I trying to become a singer, a porn star, a director, an actor? In reality, I am all those things but the singer part of me had to take over. I needed to definitely quit porn for good because it was coming in the way of my new goal. So even though I didn't find this easy, every nude pictures, clips of sex and links to other adult sites got removed from BreckStewart.com This site used to contain adult material for many years starting in 1999 but the removal of all of it, including 150 pages of material and hundreds of nude pictures was necessary not to mention inevitable.

In order to be legally allowed to get listed on sites accessible to everyone on the Internet, a web site can't contain adult material or even link to another site containing explicit material. I am very sorry if people come here from a porn link and still expect sex and I also apologize if we weren't able to inform all the other adult webmasters who still link BreckStewart.com on their own domain. But I didn't have a choice and this had to be done. There was no easy way to make the switch but it was the right choice for me. Shedding the old skin and settling into a different persona that was more accessible, more "cleaned up". Thus allowing me to find a new way to express my artistic aspirations.

The day I did it was rather traumatic yet extremely liberating to me. Porn had served its purpose in my life but I really feel like our society still frowns a lot on it and I understand their point of view. Most people will never watch a porn movie ever and the market for it is rather small all things considered. The only reason why the adult entertainment industry is a billion $ industry is because there are so many titles. There's like 12 000 adult movies produced a year. This is a staggering number when you compare it with 900 in average for the Hollywood mainstream movies.

This means also that being a porn actor is not that lucrative, a lot less than most people might think. Only producers truly make good money and even then, it's never as high as some might imagine. No porn star can live off doing only porn movies, unless they do like 20 flicks a year and end up overexposing themselves quickly. And even though female porn stars make more than their male partners, gay male stars sill make about the same as women but it's not that much to begin with. The plain fact is that no one but the odd exception can become a true star in porn. I guess Jenna Jameson or Traci Lords come to mind but these are the exception. There are thousands of porn star that only a handful of consumers will ever hear about.

Porn in our society is like this forbidden toy which is kinky in a way and yet, truly satisfies a crucial part of our human sexuality. Realistically, most people would never dream of watching porn and to many, it becomes repetitive and numbing to the mind quickly. This is also why there is such a rapid succession of different porn stars being showcased in a neverending parade of physical perfection. It's funny because I never really made it as a porn star. I was never even a star in the adult entertainemnt world. I was just a guy who persisted enough to get cast in a few movies, that's it. But I could never offer the physical perfection which porn constantly craves and feeds on. That positioned me into this rather odd yet unique creature who just happened to do porn for a while. Yet, most people have no idea who I am still but hopefully this could change once I get some music success if I persist long enough.

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A SINGER

I love singing, even more so than I ever realized. But I actually completed the construction of 30 songs to form a movie soundtrack and a full album before even admitting to myself that I could become a singer. I feel like this new "cleaned up" image I'm going for is the right way to go, the one I should have worked for all along. When I think about it, I was the last person that should have done porn. Even though some I'm sure might cope with it well, porn was very draining and difficult for me. It was never easy and it took a part of my soul which I will never get back. I paid a high price for it and now that I closed the chapter, there is a liberation that is very soothing. No matter how you look at it, porn is a nasty beast that needs a constant feed of fresh meat to survive. The analogy might sound rather crude but I really feel that way at this point in my life.

Then, my story got even more complicated. Through MoonDaze Productions, we released a first song "Lustful Puppylove" to public domain for free and entered different contests in the hopes of getting some attention in the cutthroat world of the music business. This isn't porn that's for sure. We're entering a completely new universe here and this is a very nasty beast yet so rewarding. Making it in music is sure as hell not the same thing as doing it in porn. And this is where Frenzia comes into play.

Frenzia was born about a year ago and included me as the singer/songwriter/arranger/producer and Primo as the music composer. There was also SayCool who was a guest composer on one track from the album. What I did was take existing material from both of them with their full consent obviously that was made years ago but had never been released. Their music had a techno electropop quality and it fit the images from the "retired" movie very well. So I wrote many songs to match the existing music and used them as a soundtrack for the movie. Those musical tracks were created without a voice or melody originally, I was the one who made songs out of them.

But sadly, the fact is that as the process went along, Primo and SayCool decided not to pursue the Frenzia venture so to speak and quit before the album was released, leaving me a in a weird predicament. They had never really been involved that much since I was using old music compositions they had worked on many years ago. But when they decided to both quit before I could release the album officially, Frenzia died with them. What would be the point of keeping the band alive if I'm the only member left? I felt sad but we all decided that releasing "Utopia" as a solo album from Breck Stewart was the best way to go. It's all a bit messy as the clips of "Lustful Puppylove" still feature images from "Utopia The Movie" that was discarded and is still credited as a "Frenzia" song all over the net. But in a way, it was always me all along so Breck Stewart instantly became a solo artist, bypassing the Frenzia experience even though it wasn't my first choice.